


This is my winter song to you

by 5ftjewishcactus



Series: Winter Song [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Background Case, Christmas Lights, F/F, Falling In Love, First Dates, Friends to Lovers, Gender or Sex Swap, Holidays, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inspired By Tumblr, Love Confessions, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-06-29 03:17:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19821442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ftjewishcactus/pseuds/5ftjewishcactus
Summary: "I just want someone to take me out.""Like on a date or with a sniper?""Surprise me."***After a particularly rough case, Connie surprises Hana with a date. Hana reluctantly agrees to it, mainly because she thinks its all she'll ever get from the woman she's secretly in love with. (f/f version)





	This is my winter song to you

**Author's Note:**

> Part one is the m/m version, part two is the f/f version.

Hana groaned as she stared down at the case file in front of her. It was a shitty case. They had no leads and very little evidence. Hana hated it. A man dead, stabbed to death leaving his pregnant girlfriend alone. The victim, Jon Fuss, appeared to be a good man with no enemies, worked hard at his job, well-liked by his peers and his boss. It made no sense. Hana shoved the case file aside and leaned her head against her hands.  
  
“Ugh,” she groaned. “I just want someone to take me out.”  
  
“Like on a date or with a sniper?” Connie asked, looking over at Hana, slightly concerned.  
  
“Surprise me.”  
  
Hana glanced up, wondering about Connie's reaction only to see Connie tilt her head as her LED spun yellow a moment before it went back to steady blue. Hana was about to ask what it was about when Miller walked over to them.  
  
“CCTV from a local convenient store caught a man leaving the crime scene ten minutes after the time of death,” she said, handing Hana a tablet with the footage.  
  
“Great. What info do we have on the guy?” Hana asked.  
  
“His name’s Mike Sheridan, forty-two, lives a few blocks from the crime scene. Used to work with Fuss,” Miller replied.  
  
Hana watched the video and sure enough a man, who looked roughly forty years old and was trying to hide his face in the collar of his clearly blood stained jacket, exited the building and headed into the alley.  
  
“Sounds like he might be our guy, or at least know something.” Hana turned to Connie. “Let’s go talk to him.”  
  
Connie, who had come around to look at the video and analyze it, nodded and followed Hana out to her car. As Hana drove, she turned her usual heavy metal music down and glanced at Connie.  
  
"So, what do you think?" she asked, motioning towards the tablet Connie was still analyzing.  
  
"Well, Sheridan is clearly trying to avoid being seen, being identified. And the blood splatter on his jacket does match that with a stabbing. If he wasn't the murderer, he was there when it happened," Connie replied.  
  
"Shit."  
  
Sheridan turned out to be their murderer, confessed within minutes of Hana and Connie stopping by to ask him questions. Had apparently killed Fuss over his ex-wife, Fuss's girlfriend, leaving him for Fuss after he'd been fired from the same company for embezzlement.  
  
“Jealousy is ugly, but especially when it turns murderous,” Hana said, shutting the car door on Sheridan.  
  
Connie frowned. “I don’t think I’ve experienced jealous yet myself."  
  
“It isn’t pleasant, I’ll tell you that.”  
  
Connie looked at Hana, her head at a tilt again. Hana glared at her, a warning if Connie was trying to analyze her, which she knew Connie did despite Hana's many protests against it, but usually she was stealthier about it. Connie straightened her head and her LED flashed a brilliant blue. Hana sighed.  
  
“Let’s get this guy back to the precinct.”  
  
“Of course, Lieutenant.”  
  
Hana completely forgot the earlier conversation, too busy recording Sheridan's confession and filing the necessary paperwork. She also made the uncomfortable call to Brenda, Fuss's girlfriend, letting her know they'd caught the murderer and that it unfortunately was her ex-husband. She couldn’t believe it, said Sheridan and Fuss had stayed friends, even after Sheridan had been fired, even after their divorce. Hana told her sometimes jealousy made people do terrible things. Tried to reassure her when she blamed herself.  
  
Phone call done, Hana scrubbed her hands over her face and through her hair.  
  
"I'm going home. Want a ride?" Hana asked, standing to grab her jacket off the back of her chair.  
  
"No, thank you," Connie replied. "Try to have a good night, Hana."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She blasted her heavy metal on the way home and tried to drown herself in the bottom of a beer bottle. Then a second and a third, before giving up for sleep for the night. Sumo curled up on the bed with her, Hana had long given up keeping the dog from sleeping on the bed even before Cole passed away. She curled up against the dog, burying her face into Sumo's soft fur. She hated the world sometimes. She'd chosen to raise Cole as a single parent when her ex-whatever had decided he didn't want to be a dad. He'd called once, after the funeral, telling Hana he was sorry. Hana had hung up on him. Hadn't wanted to talk to him or anyone else. Had convinced herself that she didn't want anyone around out of pity. Kept everyone at arm's length after that.  
  
Until Connie. Having an android who quite literally shoved her way into Hana's life had shown Hana that people could care again. That she didn't have to keep people at arm's length. When Connie had been allowed back at work, had been officially made a detective with the DPD, Hana had asked Fowler for her partner back. Fowler had agreed because working with Connie, the deviant case, had been the first time Hana had shown real interest in a case in a long while. Hana wanted to prove she was still a good detective, despite her attitude the last couple years.  
  
Connie had reminded Hana what it was like to be alive. She'd been merely existing, one blurry, hungover day to alcohol fueled night. Connie made Hana want to be better. She knew she'd never be the woman she once was, had lost too much for that, but she could try to be a person again. Among the living. Didn't stop the bad days, the bad cases, from crawling under Hana's skin, making her long for the bottom of a bottle. She'd moved from full bottles of whiskey to bottles of beer. She knew she should try harder, go to AA or some shit, but somehow that felt like more weakness that Hana wasn't ready to face.  
  
Instead, she made sure to stop herself after three bottles of beer, two if she was feeling strong enough for it, and going to bed. Sumo had been her only constant. Didn't judge Hana for how much she drank or when she cried herself to sleep. Tonight was one of those nights. She clung to Sumo, who whined but didn't try to move himself from Hana's side. Cried because of Brenda's unborn baby, going to grow up without a father. For herself, because of everything she'd lost.  
  
***  
  
Two more days went by, dealing with the Fuss case, making sure Sheridan got locked up for murder. With a full confession and cooperation, there wouldn't be a trial. Sheridan was going straight to prison. Hana and Connie were onto the next case. Or the interim between cases. Hana worked on paperwork. Never ending paperwork. Connie sat across from her, interfacing with her terminal, working on her own paperwork. Much faster than Hana ever could. Sometimes she was jealous. Wished it would take her only a matter of minutes to get through it all. Other times, she liked knowing that there were no current cases to work, no new murders, so she could sit at her desk and type away at her slow pace.  
  
"Connie, my office," Fowler said.  
  
Hana looked up and watched as Connie stood and went to Fowler's office. Once inside, Connie sat down across from Fowler who seemed to talk for several minutes before Connie replied. Connie's LED spun yellow the entire time. If it involved the case, surely Fowler would've called them both in. Unless Connie had mishandled the evidence, which how the fuck would she when she was a walking, talking forensics lab? Hana stood, ready to go in there to defend her partner, when Fowler smiled, actually fucking smiled, and motioned Connie out of the office. Connie's LED returned to blue as she exited.  
  
"What the hell was that all about?" Hana asked.  
  
"I'm finally receiving back pay for my work during our first case. Fowler wanted to make sure I was properly paid for my work during that week."  
  
"Jesus. They're paying you for that? I mean, it's good that they are, but shit, I barely got paid for that week."  
  
Connie looked at Hana quizzically.  
  
"Fowler didn't exactly appreciate how much we spent at the Eden Club, given we let the girls go." And also the whole punching Perkins thing but Hana accepted her punishment because it had been 100% worth it.  
  
"I'll just have to reimburse you then."  
  
"No. Absolutely not.” Hana shook her head. “Besides it’s your money. Spend it on stuff you want. Like… your fishes.”  
  
Connie shook her head. She grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair and clicked off the monitor on her desk.  
  
"Now where are you going?" Hana asked.  
  
"We are going home. Fowler gave us the rest of the day off and tomorrow, too. Said we earned it after the Fuss case."  
  
Hana wasn't going to argue with that. She quickly finished the file she was working on and saved it, before grabbing her own jacket.  
  
"Want a ride home?"  
  
Connie nodded. "I'd like that."  
  
Hana smiled. "You could come over. Sumo misses you."  
  
"Maybe tomorrow. I've got some things to work on at home."  
  
"Yeah, I'll be home."  
  
Connie smiled back at Hana. They walked to the car in companionable silence. Hana left it to Connie if the music played or not. Sometimes she'd even let Connie chose the music they listened to, even if it meant she picked something Hana wouldn't. But she liked that Connie was finding things she liked on her own. While she did like dogs and listening to Knights of the Black Death, she loved fish and classical music. She had a whole wall of her apartment that was just fish tanks. Three different ones, for each of the different fishes she had. Each with their own setups and requirements. Connie had researched it all before buying the supplies and the fishes.  
  
The car pulled up out in front of Connie's apartment building. Hana turned the music off and turned to look at Connie.  
  
"Thank you, Hana," Connie said.  
  
"You're welcome. And you can come over any time tomorrow."  
  
"Tomorrow then."  
  
Connie climbed out of the car and headed to her apartment. Hana watched her until she disappeared inside. Old habit from her youth, making sure her friends and loved ones were safely inside before driving away. Even before she'd become a cop, she wanted to keep people safe. Even though Connie could handle herself, Hana still waited every time she dropped her off.  
  
Heavy metal filled the silence as Hana drove home. Sumo greeted her excitedly.  
  
"Hey Sumo, mama's home early. Just you and me tonight. But Connie might stop by tomorrow." Hana ruffled Sumo's fur as the dog drooled on her. "You're a good boy, Sumo. Yes you are."  
  
She stood and removed her jacket, heading into the kitchen where she refilled Sumo's water bowl with fresh water and grabbing a beer from the fridge. She didn't open it yet, just held the cool glass in her hand while she stared into the fridge contemplating what to eat for dinner.  
  
"Probably gonna be take out," she muttered to herself.  
  
She eyed the beer bottle in her hand and decided it was too early for one just yet, stuck it back in the fridge. She went to the living room and flopped down onto the couch. Sumo soon joined her, jumping up to curl up on the cushion next to Hana. Flipping through the channels and petting Sumo, Hana resigned herself to a quiet night in with take out for dinner and a beer with her name on it in the fridge and her faithful companion to keep her company.  
  
***  
  
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!  
  
The sound of the doorbell woke Hana from the unintentional nap she'd taken on the couch.  
  
"Fuck," she groaned, as she stretched out her stiff limbs and stood up.  
  
Brrrrring!  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Jesus."  
  
She opened the door to find Connie standing on her front porch wearing a pantssuit, nicer than the one she'd been wearing earlier at work, and holding a bouquet of flowers.  
  
"Hello Hana," Connie said with a smile.  
  
"Hi. What's… what’s with… all this?" Hana asked, motioning at Connie’s appearance and the flowers.  
  
"You said to surprise you. I picked the date option."  
  
"Date option?"  
  
Hana shook her head and then remembered the conversation they'd had before the lead on Sheridan. Connie's LED was spinning yellow and she was frowning.  
  
"You were joking. I'm sorry… I'll just…"  
  
She turned to leave but Hana reached out and grabbed her arm.  
  
"Wait."  
  
Connie looked at her.  
  
"Come inside. Please."  
  
Connie nodded and followed Hana inside. She stood awkwardly by the door, still holding the bouquet. Hana scratched the back of her neck, thinking of what to say next. She had been joking, at the time. But she'd be lying if she said the thought of going on a date with Connie wasn't intriguing. Connie was beautiful. Anyone with eyes could see that. Hana certainly could. Had… even before she'd really wanted to admit it. But sitting across from her every day, spending time with her as she found herself, Hana knew what she felt. She also knew that she was old and not exactly what someone would consider attractive. Especially not someone like Connie. She could have any human or android she wanted.  
  
"I am sorry, Hana. I didn't… I only wanted to do something nice for you. We've been working so hard and I know the Fuss case wasn't easy."  
  
Hana stepped forward and held Connie's hand that wasn't holding the boutique. "Thank you. Before you, I've kind of been an asshole. I forgot what it was like to have people care."  
  
Connie squeezed Hana's hand. "I do care about you, Hana. A lot. You're… important to me."  
  
Hana smiled. "You're important to me, too."  
  
"I understand if you don't want to, but I did plan a rather elaborate date that I would still very much like to take you on it. If you'll let me."  
  
"Do I have time for a shower?"  
  
Connie's LED spun for a minute. "Make it a quick one."  
  
Hana nodded. "You can put those in the kitchen. Uh- I think there might still be a vase in the cupboard."  
  
"Okay. Now go."  
  
Hana hurried down the hall. She went straight into the bathroom, accidentally slamming the door as she quickly peeled off her clothes and climbed into the shower. She swore at the burst of cold water that greeted her, before the water warmed up. She almost couldn't believe it. She was going on a date with Connie. One that Connie had planned. Elaborate date. She wondered exactly what that entailed. What would Connie plan for a date? Hana quickly rinsed the shampoo from her hair, swearing as some of it ran down her face. She hadn't been this nervous for a date since high school. Even if it was just Connie doing something nice for her, Hana was… happy. Connie made her happy. And even if this was just for tonight, her partner, her friend, doing something nice for her, well Hana could live with that.  
  
Rinsed off and wrapped haphazardly in a towel, Hana dashed across the hall to her bedroom and looked through her closet for something decent to wear. Connie had dressed up and she deserved to have Hana dressed up too. She skipped the portion of her closet full of tacky, multi-patterned shirts and went towards the back, where she did actually have a couple of nice suits. One of them was the one she'd worn to the funeral. The other… her father had taught her it was always good to have a nice suit, just in case. Hana was thankful for that advise now, as she quickly dressed in her nice suit. She ran her fingers through her damp hair. Wasn't much she could do to style it, grabbed a hair tie off the dresser and pulled it back into a small bun, so it was off her face and neck.  
  
When Hana stepped out of her bedroom, she found Connie kneeling on the floor giving Sumo belly rubs. She turned to look at Hana and smiled as she stood up. Hana had a sense of déjà vu, mind flashing back to the night Connie had broken into her house. That night was the first time she'd seen Connie smile, really smile. The first time she thought she could see a glimpse of deviancy within Connie. The smile now was even better than that one. Because Connie was a deviant, alive and full of life. And she was looking at Hana like she was the most important person in the room. Which Hana realized made sense since it was only the two of them, but the look still got to Hana. For a moment, she could pretend that all of this wasn't just Connie being nice. That it actually meant something. That it was real.  
  
"You look very gorgeous," Connie said.  
  
"Thank you," Hana replied, trying not to blush. "So do you."  
  
Connie ducked her head. Sumo boofed at them, at the attention no longer being on him, before retreating to his bed by the fireplace. Hana chuckled.  
  
"Is it alright if I drive? Or would you prefer to?" Connie asked.  
  
Hana appreciated Connie asking. She'd let Connie drive once before, when she'd been too drunk still to drive. But usually Hana drove them around. She knew why Connie asked, knew Connie understood like only those who knew, like Fowler, why she drove her car, as old as it was and in the age of self-driving cars. If it were anyone else, she'd probably prefer to drive. This was Connie though. Hana trusted Connie.  
  
"You can drive. I trust you."  
  
Connie smiled again. Hana tossed her the keys and grabbed her jacket. It was still winter in Detroit and despite her suit jacket, it was still gonna be cold for any durations outside.  
  
"Be good, Sumo. I'll be back later," she said.  
  
“Bye, Sumo.”  
  
Sumo boofed at them softly from his bed. Hana followed Connie out to the car. It didn’t feel too weird getting into the passenger seat. Connie turned on some of the classical music she liked and Hana let her. She was taking Hana out on a date, the least Hana could do was let her pick the music as they drove to their destination. Hana watched the streets go by, tried to determine where they were going. Soon enough they ended up passed downtown, beyond where Hana was familiar with. Newer buildings had gone up following the revolution. Android owned and operated. Places where androids and humans could coexist. Marcella and the rest of Jericho had done a lot to ensure Detroit was safe for both androids and humans following the military stand-off outside the camps.  
  
Laws were slowly being drafted and brought before Congress but they were slow to pass. In the meantime, Detroit has become the example for the rest of the United States. Which Hana realized was maybe partially why Connie had brought her here, to that part of town. Especially when she pulled the car into the parking lot of the first android owned restaurant. Both human and android cooks were employed there, paid equally for their work.  
  
“Is this all right?” Connie asked.  
  
“Yes.” Hana didn’t want to disappoint Connie. She was nervous, admittedly, but also curious. It’d be interesting to try the food. “Are you? I mean… do they offer… I don’t know… stuff you can… uh- consume?”  
  
Connie chuckled. “Yes, they do. Though they are working on upgrades to allow androids to eat, like the child models do now but for every model.”  
  
Hana nodded. She didn’t particularly like the ‘they’ Connie referred to. Kamski had come out of retirement following the revolution to help with creating a more android accepting and welcoming world. She and her mini army of RT600s were working with Simone and Josie to create the android advancements. Hana still didn’t trust Kamski but Connie assured her that Simone and Josie were keeping an eye on the man. It only slightly put Hana at ease.  
  
“Shall we?” Connie asked.  
  
Hana took a deep breathe and nodded. “Yeah.”  
  
Once inside they were greeted by a hostess standing at podium.  
  
“Reservation for Anderson, please,” Connie said.  
  
“Ah yes, right this way,” the woman said and it wasn’t until she turned that Hana realized she was an android too.  
  
She led them over to a table on the other side of the restaurant in a secluded corner. The lights were dimmed, meant to be somehow romantic mood lighting, and a vase of flowers adorned the table. The hostess set the menus in front of them, as they each down on opposite sides of the table. One side of the menu listed android friendly meals and drinks while the other side listed human friendly meals and drinks. The hostess left them to look over the menu. Hana eyed the alcoholic drinks, the selection of beers and wines. She didn’t want to get drunk, didn’t want to ruin the mood of the date. Looked over the non-alcoholic drinks instead. Decided to order a soda. That’d be good.  
  
When their waitress arrived, Hana noticed she was human as she pulled out pen and paper to write down their orders. Most places she’d been in the past, android waitstaff didn’t need to write down orders to remember them. She introduced herself and offered to take their drink orders. Hana ordered a soda and Connie ordered a lemon water. Their waitress left to fetch their drinks while Hana continued to look over the menu. Many of the food options had their calories listed next to them and it made Hana feel self conscious. She already knew she didn’t eat well and Connie had commented on more than one occasion on Hana’s dietary habits. She didn’t want to disappoint Connie now.  
  
“Uh- I’m struggling here. What… uh-?” Hana took a deep breathe. “Any suggestions?”  
  
Connie frowned. “Hana, I didn’t bring you out to judge you. Have whatever you’d like.”  
  
Hana stares at the menu. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”  
  
“Oh Hana. You couldn’t possibly disappoint me. As long as you have a good time tonight.”  
  
Hana looked up at Connie who was looking at her so earnestly. For a moment Hana could let herself believe this date was real.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
Connie smiled. Hana went back to looking over the menu. She’d finally decided what she wanted to eat when their waitress arrived with their drinks. Once she’d left again, Hana tried to think of something for them to talk about. It’d been so long since she’d been on a date and most of them had been with friends of friends and not her co-worker/partner/best friend.  
  
“Uh- how are your fishes?” Hana asked.  
  
“They’re doing well. Nigel, the dwarf gourami, has adjusted well to his tank. He hid a lot the first few days. I wasn’t sure if he was going to need a larger tank or a different environment to the one I initially setup.”  
  
Hana smiled as she watched Connie talk. Watching the way her face lit up as she spoke, how fond of her fishes she was.  
  
“Nigel’s the one you bought because of the fish from your first mission.”  
  
Connie beamed at her. “Yes. You remembered.”  
  
“Of course I did. Saving that fish was your first act of deviancy. Brought you one step closer to me. I mean being my partner.”  
  
Connie blushed as Hana spoke and ducked her head down. After the revolution, Connie had spent several days with Marcella and the others trying to figure out why she’d become deviant. Hana still didn’t fully understand all the details, something about a zen garden inside Connie’s mind that contained an AI she interacted with, had said she’d been meant to deviate all along, had tried to take Connie over and use her to kill Marcella. It didn’t make sense, especially not to Hana, but Connie had said it didn’t matter. She was her own person now. Hana had helped show her how to be alive. Which was exactly how Hana felt about Connie. They’d helped each other with the whole being alive thing.  
  
“And your betta? He’s doing better?” Hana asked.  
  
“Yes, Clancy is doing much better. Turns out the filter had malfunctioned and was actually polluting the water. He’s been fine since I installed a new filter. This one had a much better rating.”  
  
Hana nodded. “That’s good. Glad that… Clancy is doing better.”  
  
Connie gave Hana a look. It wasn’t quite disapproving, but it was close. The first time she’d told Hana her betta’s name, Hana had laughed. Hana still thought it was ridiculous to name a fish Clarence and the nickname Clancy wasn’t really an improvement. Hana smiled back at Connie.  
  
“And your ghost shrimp? Does he have a name yet?”  
  
“Yes, actually. Dickens.”  
  
Hana looked at Connie, eyebrow raised in question. “Dickens?”  
  
“Yes. For Charles Dickens. I recently read his story A Christmas Carol which features many ghosts. Seemed fitting for a ghost shrimp.”  
  
“Yeah, I can see that.”  
  
Connie smiled again and Hana couldn’t help but smile back. Connie clearly adored her fish and Hana, well, she adored Connie. Even with ridiculous names like Nigel and Clancy and Dickens, Hana could listen to Connie take about her fishes for hours because of how happy them made her. Hana had in fact listened to Connie talk for hours about her fishes before she’d even had them because she’d been weighing the pros and cons of each type and whether she’d be able to maintain each aquarium as needed for each fish. Hana had listened and encouraged Connie when she could, despite her own lack of knowledge of fishes and aquariums, it was clear Connie had put a lot of thought into owning fishes. Had even made sure to find an apartment that would allow her to have them in the first place.  
  
Their food soon arrived and Hana ate happily. She was actually pleased with her choice, both picking something she wanted to eat and something she hoped Connie would approve of. Chicken Alfredo with broccoli, with a side of brown rice. Connie’s own dish looked like some sort of smurf soup. Hana tried hard not to stare as Connie took several careful sips from her spoon, but it was weird enough to see Connie eating, even weirder when it looked like she was eating smurf jizz.  
  
“It’s a thirium based… broth… I suppose is the correct term. It’s very difficult to make thirium based foods for androids that don’t ruin the integrity of the thirium thus making it… useless when consumed,” Connie explained.  
  
“Uh-huh.”  
  
“Until the proper upgrades are completed and implemented, this will have to do. I’m sorry if it’s weird.”  
  
Hana shook her head, feeling like an asshole. “No, don’t apologize. Enjoy your thirium soup thing.”  
  
Connie nodded once, smiling softly. Hana turned her attention to her own food, stabbing at a piece of broccoli and hating herself a little bit for making Connie uncomfortable. They both ate in silence for several minutes before Connie reached across the table and gently placed her hand over one of Hana’s. Hana looked up at her and the look on Connie’s face made her self directed anger melt away. Connie was smiling at her, eyes bright and sparkling, looking at Hana like she was the greatest thing she’d laid eyes on. It was a lot to take in. Hana’s heart ached with how badly she wanted it to be real, how badly she wanted Connie to truly be her, to date, and share dinners and more with.  
  
“Thank you for agreeing to this, even if you’re been joking originally,” Connie said.  
  
Hana shook her head. “I should be thanking you for planning this. I really do appreciate it, Connie. Thank you… for being such a great… friend.”  
  
Connie nodded, squeezing Hana’s hand. Hana squeezed Connie’s hand in return and held her gaze. Their waitress returning to make sure their meals were as desired and to see if their drinks needed refilling broke them out of their little bubble. They finished eating, Connie telling Hana how she’d reconnected with the Tracis, now going by Echo and Ripple, who were doing well within New Jericho.  
  
After they finished eating, Connie paid the bill, insisted since she was the one who’d brought Hana out on the date. Hana only grumbled a little because honestly it felt good to be treated for a change.  
  
“If you’re up for it, I do have more planned but I understand if you’d rather go home,” Connie said, as they walked out to the car.  
  
Hana scratched the back of her neck. “I’m not ready to go home yet.”  
  
Connie smiled, beaming at Hana who couldn’t help but smile back because Connie’s smiles were infectious and Hana was honestly excited to see what Connie had planned for them next. She let Connie drive again, of course, not wanting to ruin the surprise. They soon returned to familiar territory and eventually Hana suspected she knew where they were going. Sure enough, Connie pulled into the parking lot near the local park. Hana could see from their parking spot that the park was decorated with bright Christmas lights. It was two weeks until Christmas and Hana had been trying not to think about it. Another Christmas without… without Cole.  
  
“Is this alright?” Connie asked, reading Hana with only a glance, her LED spinning yellow.  
  
Hana looked out at the bright lights and the snow and the holiday cheer and then back at Connie. It was her first Christmas, their first Christmas together. Hana nodded. She was trying so hard to be better, to not slink into herself and hide from the world. It would still hurt, every year, every time Hana was reminded of what she’d lost, but she knew she had to face it. And with Connie next to her, Hana knew she could at least try.  
  
“Yeah, this is fine,” Hana said.  
  
Connie nodded, her LED returning to steady blue. Hana followed her out of the car and towards the entrance to the park. As they neared, Hana heard a soft neigh followed by a horse drawn carriage coming into view.  
  
“They still do this?” she asked, amazed.  
  
“The website said it’s a long standing tradition to view the holiday lights from the comfort and warm of the carriage,” Connie replied.  
  
Hana nodded. “My parents used to bring my sister and I to see the lights here, when we were kids. I didn’t think they still did it. I never thought to…” she let the thought trail off.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Connie placed her hand on Hana’s arm. “We really don’t have to stay.”  
  
Hana turned to face Connie, making sure to keep eye contact. “No, I want to. I want to build new memories. With you.”  
  
Connie’s face was unreadable for a moment and Hana worried she’d said the wrong thing.  
  
“Oh Hana,” Connie said, smiling softly at her.  
  
Connie’s hand felt warm where it rested on her arm, grounding Hana and keeping her from disappearing into the dark memories in the back of her mind. She stepped awkwardly, not wanting to lose that warmth but wanting Connie closer. She pulled Connie to her, much like she had the morning after the revolution outside Chicken Feed. Held Connie close as the other woman wrapped her arms around her. Tears stung at Hana’s eyes, stinging from the cold air, but Hana let them fall anyway.  
  
“Cole would’ve liked you,” Hana said quietly against Connie’s neck, warmth radiating from everywhere they touched.  
  
“I wish I could’ve known him.”  
  
Hana nodded. In another life, another universe, a perfect world where Hana could have her son and her partner. When Hana finally pulled back, Connie reached up and brushed the tears away.  
  
“The lights are waiting,” Hana said, motioning towards the carriage with a tilt of her head.  
  
Connie nodded, even as she looked over Hana not so subtly. Hana led them to the carriage and the driver smiled at them.  
  
“Good evening, ladies. My name is Shawn. I’ll be your carriage driver for the evening. There’s a thermos of fresh hot chocolate and plenty of blankets. The ride will take us through the park once, lasting about half an hour. If you want to stop for pictures, please let me know. Otherwise, enjoy the ride and the glistening lights.”  
  
Hana climbed up into the carriage and Connie followed behind her. They situated themselves so they sat together looking out across the park. They draped one blanket over their laps. Hana grabbed the thermos and poured herself a cup. The carriage began to move as Hana held the warm cup between her hands, feeling the warmth across her fingers. Christmas music played from speakers built into the carriage. Connie shifted slightly, leaning against Hana. Several trees were decorated with various red and green lights, gently flashing with seemingly random patterns.  
  
A few other trees had soft blue lights that shifted in shimmering waves up and down the length of the trees. Wreathes and giant red bows hung from the lamps that existed within the park all year round, giving them a festive feel. Icicle lights were draped between a couple archways, white light sparkling as snow began to fall around them.  
  
Hana sipped her hot chocolate, the warmth blossoming across her tongue, sweet chocolate and a hint of peppermint tickling her taste buds.  
  
“May I have a sip?” Connie asked.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Hana held the cup out to Connie who placed her hands over Hana’s and tipped the cup slightly, a small amount of liquid slipping into her mouth. Her LED spun it’s still steady blue, but Hana knew Connie was analyzing the flavors.  
  
“I like it.”  
  
Hana smiled. “Me too.”  
  
They smiled at each other before Connie pulled her hands away. Hana shivered as the cold air brushed along her knuckles and she pulled the mug close to her chest again, wishing she’d thought to bring her gloves. She turned her attention back to the lights. After a moment, Connie leaned her head against Hana's shoulder. Hana glanced at her and smiled. She carefully sipped her hot chocolate so she wouldn't disturb Connie with her movements. Once her mug was empty, she set it down on the seat next to her and then bundled her hands into the blankets.  
  
"Here," Connie said, reaching into the blanket to hold Hana's hands with her own.  
  
Her hands were warm, warmer than they had any right being having been exposed to the cold the same as Hana's. Perks of being an android, Hana supposed and shifted her hands to hold Connie's hands in her own. As the carriage continued around the park, Hana leaned her head against Connie’s.  
  
“Thank you,” she whispered.  
  
“You’re welcome.”  
  
As the carriage made its finally loop towards the entrance, Hana savored the warmth of Connie next to her, Connie’s warm hands held in her own. How truly happy she felt for the first time in years.  
  
Once back at the entrance to the park, the carriage stopped. Shawn offered them the last of the hot chocolate as they exited the carriage. Hana tipped him generously before following Connie back to the car. Connie turned the radio to a station playing Christmas music as she drove them to their next location.  
  
Familiar streets and houses came into view and Hana felt her heart sink. She wasn’t ready for the night to end, wasn’t ready to go home. But it was late and cold and Connie had taken Hana on an elaborate date, greater than any date she’d been on. The music shut off as Connie pulled the car into the driveway. Hana stepped out of the car and headed to the front door, Connie behind her. She stopped at the door, realizing Connie still had the keys. She turned around to face Connie who was standing at the edge of the small porch.  
  
“Thank you, again, for tonight. I had a great time,” Hana said.  
  
“Thank you, for coming out with me. Despite the misunderstanding.”  
  
Connie held out Hana’s keys. As Hana stepped forward to take them back, Connie leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. It was brief, barely a brush of lips.  
  
“Good night, Hana,” Connie said.  
  
She turned to leave but Hana held her hand, pulling her back. She held Connie’s hand, thumb rubbing along the back of Connie’s hand. Her eyes flicked to Connie’s lips, wondering if they’d feel as warm against her own lips as they did against her cheek. When she looked back at Connie’s eyes, she lost her nerve.   
  
“Stay. Please. We can… curl up on the couch and watch a movie,” she said instead.  
  
Connie smiled. “I’d like that.”  
  
Hana let them inside the house. She slipped of her coat and suit jacket before rolling up the sleeves of her dress shirt. Connie did the same. Hana sank down onto the couch and pat the spot next to her, looking up at Connie. She moved to sit next to Hana, leaning into her like she had in the carriage. This time Hana put her arms around Connie. As Hana flipped through the channels to find them a movie to watch, Connie shifted to look up at her. Hana looked at her and before her nerves could get the better of her, she leaned in and kissed her.  
  
It was awkward at first, the angle a little off until Connie shifted to better face Hana. Her lips were warm against Hana’s, as was the rest of her.  
  
“Mmm… Hana,” Connie moaned against Hana’s lips.  
  
Hana groaned. If she hadn’t already been head over heels for Connie before, she definitely was now. Hana wrapped her arms around Connie’s waist, as Connie straddled her lap.  
  
“I’ve wanted this… wanted you,” Connie said.  
  
She cupped Hana’s cheek, fingers curling along her cheek and chin.  
  
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Hana asked, kissing Connie’s palm.  
  
“I was scared.” Connie looked at Hana, brown eyes softened. “That you wouldn’t want me.”  
  
Hana shook her head. “How could I possibly not want you? You saved me.” She placed her hand against Connie’s cheek. “You make me feel alive.”  
  
Connie leaned in and kissed her again, a small chaste kiss. “You saved me, too.”  
  
Hana chuckled as she rubbed her thumb along Connie’s cheek. Those three words were on the tip of her tongue, but she was scared, it was only their first date. But she loved Connie and she’d already lost so much.  
  
“I love you,” she whispered.  
  
Connie smiled and laughed, happy and infectious laughter. “I love you, too.”  
  
Hana pulled her closer and kissed her, relishing in the feel of those soft, warm lips against her own slightly chapped ones. When she finally pulled away from the kiss, needing air, she leaned her forehead against Connie’s.  
  
“We can still watch a movie, if you’d like,” Connie said.  
  
“Hmm… maybe for tonight. At least for now.”  
  
Connie nodded and climbed off Hana’s lap. She leaned against Hana like she had before and Hana put her arms around her. Connie’s hand found her and linked their fingers together. With a spin of her LED, the TV flipped to some romantic comedy from Hana’s youth. Hana chuckled but watched the film anyway as she held Connie in her arms.  
  
Later, once the film was over, Hana went to bed sober, truly sober, for the first time in months. Connie borrowed a t-shirt to sleep in and curled up next to Hana. Her warmth lulled Hana to sleep. And when she woke the next morning, it was to warm lips placing gentle kisses on each of her cheeks, her nose, and her forehead.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this post](http://that-was-awesome.tumblr.com/post/176091089783) on tumblr. Also, Clancy the betta fish really exists. He belongs to my friend Max. Check out his fishblr [here](http://ddwfr.tumblr.com/). I mostly included him for the luls, but he's a good fish. 
> 
> ETA: Clancy beta has since passed away. He was a good fish and will continue to be remembered.
> 
> You can follow me on tumblr [@5ftjewishcactus](https://5ftjewishcactus.tumblr.com/) or on twitter on my main [@5ftjewishcactus](https://twitter.com/5ftjewishcatus) or on my sfw gen fandom [@2ambiace](https://twitter.com/2ambiace) or my dbh [@asexualhankcon](https://twitter.com/asexualhankcon).


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